Today I start a 40 day nap-a-thon. Gluttonous, selfish, entitled, privileged, and guilty. Those were the first thoughts that came to mind when I considered signing up for this. That I haven't yet told Adam that I've done this indicates the level to which I am not ok with how I am at least half-assedly committing to making this time for and with myself. For 40 days I will lie down, sit down, quietly, and commune with my body in a positive way for 30 minutes. My goal: to regain a positive relationship with my body. To learn to love my physical self again.
Yoga Nidra. Nap yoga. A practice when one sits quietly, and listens to one's body. Where it is quiet, where it is loud. Where it is heavy, where it is light. Where a body is bright, where it is dull. Where it is musical, where it is not.
I have been pregnant or nursing for over three years straight now and my body, mind, and soul are tired. Its the best kind of tired, but I am tired. I want to loose the weight, physically, from these pregnancies. I want to regain the physical strength I lost from the two surgeries. I want to regain the faith I had in my body to endure, to recover, to bare burdens with grace. I've lost this in these last three years. I am not physically the person I want to be.
Here I go, feel free to join me. Don't judge me harsly, please. I am doing this for me, for my kids, for my husband, for my work. We will all be better off in 40 days, I am hopeful.
Stay tuned~
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2 comments:
Wow! I am going to have to have a good think about this. I do understand the need to regain self. My child is six and I am still struggling in that happy tired way.
All the best Sera!
Alex
xo
this may be one of the greatest (and kindest) gifts you ever give yourself. it's hard work to do nothing -- to truly rest and surrender into a space that allows your body to heal and realign with your spirit/soul -- it's a tender and gentle courtship -- and something akin to reconciling two squabbling children. sending you much love.
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