When embarking on any new adventure, I read. I read everything I can get my hands on, borrowing and buying in mad amounts. Our bags when leaving the US are almost always at least 1/3 book weight. This summer while we were stateside I had the pleasure of being able to read without having to worry about our weight limit so I indulged a bit. Now that is my kind of freedom.
As a midwife with a degree in women's studies, I've read quite thoroughly the majority of the books that women find themselves swapping during pregnancy: What to Expect When You Are Expecting (not one I would recommend); all of the natural birth and parenting books; and lots of feminist theory about the politic of body, power, and pregnancy. I've looked elsewhere to find the kind of books I wanted to spend my time with during the pregnancy. What I want in books are some creative ideas about how to humbly dance this transition, mindful of the discomfort and stretching required, a presentation of an awareness of the political aspects of motherhood that is becoming my own, and some practical ideas to support our commitment to raising an engaged child. Here are some of the keepers I came across:
1. Breeders, by Ariel Gore. This one, compiled by the founder and Editor of the zine, Hip Mama, is a collection of essays from wonderfully courageous non-trad moms addressing such issues as open relationships, gender role-modeling in kids and parents, the broader politics of parenting, and the like. The contributors are often queer, poor, uneducated (that is to say lacking college degrees), disabled, and parents of special needs kids. If one doesn't look outside of the mainstream mothering and pregnancy books one might believe all expectant women in the US are white, educated, middle-class, heterosexual, with really good health care. A delicious read for those of us interested in learning from those of us brazenly redefining what it means to be a mom and challenging the status quo all along the way.
2. Momma Zen: walking the crooked path of motherhood, by Karen Maezen Miller. This simple book narrates the journey of a monk who happens to become a mother. The themes of the book are Buddhist ones: acceptance, surrender, humor, and impermanence. I found this book wonderfully calming and inspirational when the media and too many loved ones (as well as strangers of the street) have negative stories to share about pregnancy, birth, newborns, and parenting. I want to hold these meditations in my heart and mind when presented with our unique challenges as Adam and I walk this path. This book presented some very concrete examples of how to do so. Reminding me that when you loose site of my breathe (and I do, like many times every day!), I can always come back to it and begin again right here. You can learn more about this book at http://www.mommazen.com/
3. Breastwork, by Alison Bartlett.This book is pure academia. It reads like someone's PhD thesis, presenting a myriad of complexities relating breastfeeding: the consumerism of breastfeeding, pressure to return to the work place, the lack of agency for women to nurse on our terms, the pain of the physiology of nursing infused with the pleasure of feeding our children, the sexualization of lactating breasts, and the politics of who nurses and who doesn't. It was a perfect presentation of, again, all of the women in the world who nurse from the Madonna and child to slave women used as wet-nurses to Parliamentary members in Australia being asked to leave the House during session rather than feeding thier child while working. Not always the peaceful, angelic scene its depicted as and definately a political statement!
There are a few magazines I find helpful, and inspirational: Mothering and Hip Mama. Both from Oregon, and full of alternative mothering, parenting, and consumer-focused options. These two rags can be found on grocery shelves at Whole Foods or any other hippie-dippy shop catering to parents looking for other ways of doing things. I highly recommend them both.
Movies: again, as a midwife and midwife educator, I am a lush for birth movies. Two I watched several times this summer were "The Business of Being Born" and "Orgasmic Birth". Both present the viewer with the dangers of too much intervention in the US medical system, the physiological benefits for mom and baby of a natural delivery, and the social implications of a system like ours currently undergoing a shift to the normalization of surgery in birth. My only criticism is that the women showcased are often urban, privlidged, and uber-educated; not really represntative of the diveristy of women who go in for home and birth center birth. Great birth scenes, informative interviews with WHO representatives, and the last one even has an orgasm! Enjoy.
I've now started gathering the reading I will steep myself in during my maternity leave. Passing long hours nursing, or for when I am unable to nap when the wee one does, and to keep my head a bit level and not too full of milk! More to come on these gems soon.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Being born again
Hello gentle readers,
Perhaps you are curious as to why, just hours away from our due date for our first baby, I've decided to start a new blog? In all honesty, I could be in the process of documenting one of those last changes late in pregnancy when all of a sudden I have energy again. What a blessing! But really, as I sit here, still, in front of our fan, its not likely. I give us at least another week of gestational discomfort, I mean bliss. But who knows, Adam dreamt last night we had the baby at Ace Hardware in a tent! We could be making the big move any day now, really.
The truth is that I want to dedicate some time and space to document the last days of pregnancy, the labor, the birth, my transition to motherhood, breastfeeding, and parenting. I've been waiting, sometimes patiently sometimes not so, for this stage of my life for what often seems a long time and its such a blessing to be here, now. There are several promises I've made to myself, that Adam and I have made to one another, and that we've collectively made to our wee one regarding how we want to tread this path together and we want to share our journey with you, here.
Community is how we all get by, really. And with the blessings of our family, friends, and colleagues we are supported on all sides in most ventures we undertake, this one not withstanding. There is a shared sense of action, intellect, and purpose binding us to you all. I want to create a medium where I can communicate my observations, verbalize a rant or rave, and offer up musings regarding these changes taking place in me, my body, and my life.
My goal as the author of this blog is to accomplish this through a lens of advocacy, the political, personal reflection, and spirit. Those of you with kids of your own I imagine are slyly grinning as you read these words as you have a keen understanding of not only the physical shifts about to take place in my life, but those having to do with time, availability, and focus, as well. I welcome your skepticism, and challenge you to consider my first assertion: I will not lose myself.
I understand that I am slowly being born again. The truth is that we all undergo these transformations on a micro to macro scale from the moment we are born until we die, and who knows, perhaps after that, too! Our skin regenerates as we move through our daily lives with scabs, scars, and sunburns. Our circles of friends and family shift with our location and interests. The words we use to identify ourselves change to reflect broader shifts: daughter, sister, athlete, lover, scholar, friend, activist, wife, and mother. And so, here I am, asking you to bare witness as I am born again.
I want to share some of the vows I've made to myself so you can hold me accountable, provide support, and join me in my action should you feel so inclined. My mind will continue to be a committed and active player in this highly hormonal and physical experience to the extent that it enriches it, me, us. I will remain committed to my daily practice to be a more humble, generous woman who laughs more easily at life. I will be a good mother, friend, sister, daughter, wife, student, and worker. I will honor my body, and the bodies of others. And I will learn, always.
Tune in, here, to read more about how things are going with me, the wee one, our extended family, and our always lively path. I look forward to sharing this journey with you, and am so very thankful for the support you've already brought to me and this work; personally and otherwise.
Humbly,
Sera + kicking bump
Perhaps you are curious as to why, just hours away from our due date for our first baby, I've decided to start a new blog? In all honesty, I could be in the process of documenting one of those last changes late in pregnancy when all of a sudden I have energy again. What a blessing! But really, as I sit here, still, in front of our fan, its not likely. I give us at least another week of gestational discomfort, I mean bliss. But who knows, Adam dreamt last night we had the baby at Ace Hardware in a tent! We could be making the big move any day now, really.
The truth is that I want to dedicate some time and space to document the last days of pregnancy, the labor, the birth, my transition to motherhood, breastfeeding, and parenting. I've been waiting, sometimes patiently sometimes not so, for this stage of my life for what often seems a long time and its such a blessing to be here, now. There are several promises I've made to myself, that Adam and I have made to one another, and that we've collectively made to our wee one regarding how we want to tread this path together and we want to share our journey with you, here.
Community is how we all get by, really. And with the blessings of our family, friends, and colleagues we are supported on all sides in most ventures we undertake, this one not withstanding. There is a shared sense of action, intellect, and purpose binding us to you all. I want to create a medium where I can communicate my observations, verbalize a rant or rave, and offer up musings regarding these changes taking place in me, my body, and my life.
My goal as the author of this blog is to accomplish this through a lens of advocacy, the political, personal reflection, and spirit. Those of you with kids of your own I imagine are slyly grinning as you read these words as you have a keen understanding of not only the physical shifts about to take place in my life, but those having to do with time, availability, and focus, as well. I welcome your skepticism, and challenge you to consider my first assertion: I will not lose myself.
I understand that I am slowly being born again. The truth is that we all undergo these transformations on a micro to macro scale from the moment we are born until we die, and who knows, perhaps after that, too! Our skin regenerates as we move through our daily lives with scabs, scars, and sunburns. Our circles of friends and family shift with our location and interests. The words we use to identify ourselves change to reflect broader shifts: daughter, sister, athlete, lover, scholar, friend, activist, wife, and mother. And so, here I am, asking you to bare witness as I am born again.
I want to share some of the vows I've made to myself so you can hold me accountable, provide support, and join me in my action should you feel so inclined. My mind will continue to be a committed and active player in this highly hormonal and physical experience to the extent that it enriches it, me, us. I will remain committed to my daily practice to be a more humble, generous woman who laughs more easily at life. I will be a good mother, friend, sister, daughter, wife, student, and worker. I will honor my body, and the bodies of others. And I will learn, always.
Tune in, here, to read more about how things are going with me, the wee one, our extended family, and our always lively path. I look forward to sharing this journey with you, and am so very thankful for the support you've already brought to me and this work; personally and otherwise.
Humbly,
Sera + kicking bump
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